When it comes to dealing with challenging behaviour in your child, what’s the best way to handle it?

Tantrums. Defiance. Impulsive behaviour. Whatever way you describe it, children’s challenging behaviour is a reality for many parents. Parents going through this often find they’re enjoying their children less, as they report issues like: “They don’t listen to me,” or “They say ‘no’ to everything,” or “They are such high maintenance.” Understandably, as a parent in this situation, you likely feel exhausted. One of the reasons challenging behaviour is so stressful is its complex nature; it quickly sees a smooth morning unravel; it often leads to debates with your partner about how to manage it; and perhaps, leaves you worried something is wrong with your child. And if not, then you’ll likely give yourself a hard time instead: “What am I doing wrong?”

Turning challenging behaviour into positive behaviour isn’t an overnight fix, but there is a lot you can do to set your child on a more positive path.

Funda’s 5 top tips for dealing with challenging behaviour:

1. Remember that managing a child’s difficult behaviour is about staying in control. Be firm and considered with your language. Use an authoritative voice that is deeper and a little louder than normal. Not screaming, just firm.

2. Your perception of the behaviour and understanding of the reasons for it are important. Only once these are discussed and agreed on will you and any other carers be able to make a plan for addressing them.

3. In any plan, be consistent and persistent. That means everyone needs to agree on what action will be taken when the challenging behaviour arises. Consider an issue such as boundaries. Boundaries can help children feel more safe and secure, but what if the boundaries you set are different to those that your partner sets? Being aligned on dealing with difficult behaviours can be easier said than done but it will make a big difference when it comes to seeing change.

4. Leave the tantrums to the kids. As parents, it’s really important not to overreact, even when the child’s behaviour is very challenging. As adults, we need to remember we are role models for our kids: if we can’t control our emotions, how can we expect them to control theirs?

5. Find quality time. It’s easy to find that during a busy week opportunities for spending simple, quality time with your child slips away. It’s important to take time (at least fifteen minutes a day) out from all the busy organising of meals, doing homework or household chores to just play, talk or do an activity together. This is also a great time to give your child lots of positive praise.

Funda can help you manage your children’s challenging behaviour by:
Working with your family to discuss the challenging behaviour and help you understand why it might be happening.
Devising strategies to help reduce your children’s incidences of challenging behaviour.
Offering techniques for what to do when the undesired behaviour is occurring.