Teaching your children responsibility is one of the most important tasks for a parent or carer. Responsibility is key to success in a child’s school life, social life and when they become adults. Many parents also single it out as one of the key qualities for their child to learn.

Children don’t want just to be doted on. They need, like the rest of us, to feel like they matter to the world, your world. But they also want to feel like they are making a positive contribution.

When it comes to finding clever ways to teach your child how to be responsible, it is important that you are careful not to turn it into lessons on obedience.

So, what exactly is responsibility?

Responsibility means knowing how to: be dependable, accountable, reliable, and committed. It is not about doing just what you’re told.

Why should you teach responsibility?

Assigning age-appropriate chores comes with many benefits, including:

• Improved self-esteem: When children contribute to the family, like helping with the dishes, or packing the dishwasher, there is a sense of accomplishment. It feels good.
• Sense of teamwork: Children who are given tasks will often feel a sense of belonging and identify with being part of the team.
• New life skills: Every day we can learn something new. And starting early with teaching responsibility, be it taking care of a family pet, they are learning a new life skill.
• Taking care of their thing: Children who are assigned responsibility at home often learn the value of taking good care of their belongings. They may also become more aware of the messes they make if it’s their job to clean up around the house.
• Ability to follow instructions: For younger children, you can start with simple tasks like sorting the washing, then assign more complex jobs that require several steps.

How to teach responsibility to a child

Create a list

Creating a list gives your child a document by which you can refer to and are accountable for. Depending on your child’s age, these tasks should be in line with their capabilities. As children are given simple tasks to do at home they begin to learn about responsibility.

Remember:

• Offer choices and involve them in the planning. This will help them feel more committed and it will give them the opportunity to communicate their suggestions.
• Rotate the tasks around the family so they don’t get bored.
• Create tasks according to your child’s age and development.
• Don’t expect perfection.

Don’t threaten or bribe

Don’t threaten or bribe your child to get them to do a task. This is unhealthy for your child to grow up with. Work together instead on the task.

Show and tell

Your child is still learning. Take this opportunity to teach them how to do simple tasks such as making their bed, folding clothes, or putting away their toys. Don’t expect perfection, remember they are only learning. You may be tempted to do the task yourself to get it done quickly. Try to give your child a chance to complete the task and give guidance only if needed. If they try and it’s not perfect, count that as one successful step towards responsibility.

Age-appropriate ideas to teach responsibility

Studies show that people who take responsibility in any given situation are people who see themselves as willing to be different and stand out.

So, what’s an age-appropriate responsibility? We’ve put together a list as a bit of a guide to adapt to your own circumstances.

Toddlers

• Cleaning up their own mess – if they spill their drink, they can help collect a towel to clean it up
• What to wear – let them pick their outfit each day, where appropriate of course
• Eating their own meals or picking what they would like to eat
• What book to read or toy to play with

Pre-schoolers

All the above plus:

• Putting their clothes away where they can
• How much they would like to eat and what to eat within appropriate nutritional guidelines of course!
• Whether to attend social events they are invited to from friends.

Primary School Aged

All the above plus:

• How to wear their hair
• Clearing their place from the table
• Simple chores around the house
• Completing their homework
• Getting their school bag ready
• How to spend their time, after basic responsibilities are accomplished
• What sport or physical activity to engage in.
• Fixing simple food for themselves

Tweens

All the above plus:

• Packing their school lunch
• Self-grooming: nails, hair, etc.

Life is full of responsibilities. It’s how the world works. If we teach our children to be responsible for themselves, in an age-appropriate way, they can continue to build on those lessons in future life scenarios, when responsibility gets more serious.

Here are some other great resources for teaching children responsibility:

• Raising a Responsible Child by Parenting
• 9 Tips for Teaching Kids Responsibility by Care
• Hands-On Activities for Teaching Kids About Social Responsibility by Bright Horizons

About the team at Tiny Terrors

Not only do we train parents, but Tiny Terrors also engage in therapy sessions with children. This will be in the comfort of your own home. Skills such as impulse control, self-regulation, anxiety management and anger management can be exercised through activities which we carefully prepare.

We believe that growing healthy and happy kids helps them to reach their mental, emotional, and physical potential.

Tiny Terrors can help with:

• Emotional regulation
• Executive functioning
• Healthy eating
• Sensory integration

After hours services are also available. Please contact the team at Tiny Terrors for a full list of fees and services.